The last couple of days, I've been busy doing all kinds of school work and also shit I just needed to catch up on like my reading habits. Ive just finished up book three in my favorite series, the house of night, and this was great one. I loved it. I'm pretty sure Izzy will like it too, her having almost the same fantastic taste in books. But yeah other than that.. much haven't been happening in my life. My is so boring, you'll be better off watching dirt form. Oh tuesday, Students had the day off from school for professional development so me and michael decided to ride bikes to barnes and noble. The ride wasn't as long as I thought I would be. It was peaceful. We took the biking trail under the expressway, plus it was nice and cool, though the wind made the ride a little tuffer, but it was a nice workout. Barnes and noble was nice as well. We sat and drank our frappacinnoes and talked about life and management and clearing out the mind. I bought 2 book, one In which I'm anxious to start. We spent about and hour and a half there before we went back home. We I did get home my muscles did ache but I thought it was all for great cause......
Oh My Gosh!!! Last night I had the best sleep I've had in about 6 months. It was for 15 hours, from 6pm Friday - 9:00am Saturday. I feel so well rested. Like I so needed that rest because lately I've only been getting about 4 hours of rest. I go to bed to late. That was nice. But other than that, in recent news from me, I've discovered a couple of beaches I wanted to visit. They are the most beautiful places I've ever seen. Theres actually 2 of them.
Ok.. so everybody pretty much knows about how unhappy I am about my weight/size. But recently I realized one of my friends is really emotional about his size. I never realized how much he worries. He really think he's humongous. But I think thats because of the fact he used to be like built like, muscular, and now he's not like that anymore. I try to tell him I don't see anything that bad on him, but he really doesn't listen. Also recently, he's been going through hardship with like his past relationship and that has basically broken him down also, and that really worries me. Like, I don't think he knows how much I care about him. It worries me that he has these "emotional flashes" that makes me really sad to the point he wants to cry. but them within 10 seconds pop right back up and be happy. Obviously that shows he hides his true feelings inside himself so that others won't see. Right now, like he feels comfortable around me enough that he could tell me what he's going through and know that I'm acutely listening. Im glad he feels that way around me. I would hate for him, not to tell anyone, and just keep it all in and just explode any day. It really scares me that at times he do want to cry, he can't. Is he really that empty inside? does he really need a shelter to go under?. He's really scaring me this point in his life and I don't know what to do... he tells me not to be scared, but I can't help it....
Lately, I've been having some issues with the way my friend jordan delivers himself. I'm starting to realize, well I've been noticed but its recently started to take a toll on me, that jordan a bitch. He really doesn't care that much about anyone but himself, he rude, and he very materialistic. I hate that. The other day I was talking to him about how i really want to go to Africa and visit/help the distressed villages there because in my heart I really care for them. It depresses me what they go through and what not, but anyway. I was telling him that, and he had the nerve to tell me, "why would you wanna go there. I would never go, I wouldn't want to catch no disease. And way would I go and watch people that have less than me." Do ya'll have any idea how much that hurt me, just to see how much he cares about the world. I think think at that moment I saw the true jordan. The rude, obnoxious person he is, and I really don't want anyone like that around me. It bring about to much negativity. Most of the things he do and say and just for attention and he doesn't realize that when he brings that attention on him someone else behind gets hurt, and sometimes that's me. I don't tell him anything because no matter what hes going to be jordan and think whaat he think and do what he do. Just come up with stupid reasons for why. "Because that's my friend and I could do that" . I hate that about him. I really really hate it. Its almost as if he doesn't know when to stop... but once again. I don't know. Maybe I'm just maturing over that. Maybe Im just maturing to the point where I'm finally realizing what goes around the outside world. I feel as if I am. I feel different.
I'm getting so tired of hear that phrase. I mainly hear it from my mother, and from michael as a joke. When it comes from my mother, it truly like somewhere tears me down. It makes me feel as if she's way superior than me, which just because she's my mother she is. She claims that I be acting like Im an adult just because I have my own views and opinions on things that she tells me. Just because I have a mind doesn't mean that I'm always trying to over throw your authority over me. A lot of people lately been telling me that I'm simply overacting, or its not as bad as Im taking it, or the one I hate the most, She just cares about you. I know that she cares, and I know that she just wants the best from me, but is there a thing called over-caring or something. I am a "young adult", growing up in this very dynamic world, and I'm just reacting to it. Im just tired of the shit I have to deal with from them.. holding it all in because no one ever understands. They just say I'm being a bitch. I know that I am blessed with the things I have, do I ever brag. I know I'm blessed with the wealth I have, do I ever brag. I know I'm blessed with the parents I have, do I ever complain. I hate it when people say I am. I hate it when people say I'm being a bitch. I don't know.......... maybe I am... I don't know... how would I know... I'm just a child.
Be happy for me and izzy... Im finished my monopoly board project!.. she's almost finished. After like 4 whole days of work.. I'm finally feel relaxed. Time to kick off my shoes and watch some t.v. which I did regardless, but somehow it feels different now... idk.
Just because someone isn't loving you the way you want them 2 doesn't mean that their not loving you with all they have......
What quality in your best friend are you most envious of and why?
I think it would have to be her personality, not the ignorant one she has sometimes, but the fun, loving, goofy, easy to get along with. I guess I have some/most of those things because we are best-friends, practically twins.(we share the same bladder), But i guess I just notice it when its on someone else.
Omg!...
Izzy is so wrong for this. She calls me in the middle of my sleep talking about "lets go to the mall". Me, being half sleep says "oh ok ill call back in an hour and we'll go". She tells me "no get dressed now, ill be there in 5min". Oh gosh. She's crazy. She's so lucky I love her and love getting out the house.
you can always hide your thoughts and just write them if you want.. :) read more
on Was I Wrong?